【The Swingin’ Stewardesses】

White House press briefings are The Swingin’ Stewardessesendlessly bizarre. With so many strange and inexplicable moments brought to us by Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, it's no surprise that the briefings are a perfect target for satire.

But of all the cutting White House commentary, comedian Keaton Patti's satirical White House press briefing script takes the cake.

Patti uploaded two pages of faux press briefing transcript supposedly written by a bot forced "to watch over 1,000 hours of White House Press Briefings." While this is very clearly a joke (and thankfully no bot had to suffer such a fate), his imagined transcript is pretty incredible.

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The script begins with Sanders angrily walking into the White House press briefing room and announcing that, "I don't actually wish you a good afternoon and the President hates you. Questions?"

From there, it devolves into a back-and-forth between Sanders and journalists that isn't far off from what actually goes on in a White House press briefing.

Patti has shared similar scripts in the past, producing parodies of Undercover Boss, Seinfeld, Cheers, and Olive Garden commercials.

And while they're immensely enjoyable, I kind of wish these scripts didn't feel so much like a mirror being held up to our own increasingly dystopian reality. Please excuse me while I step into this empty bathroom stall to alternate between laughing and crying.

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