【I Want To Be The First Guy】

Heteronormative monogamy is I Want To Be The First Guyout, queer polyamory is in.

That's true for many parts of this country -- or, you know, my Brooklyn block. Either way, platonic or not-so-platonic thruples are so *in* this year.

It's time for this country to retire their binary oppressive Flintstones couples costumes and replace them with far more subversive thruples costumes.

SEE ALSO: Next time someone annoys you on Tinder, rock this Halloween 'ghosted' costume

Here are the best thruples costumes for 2018:

1. The "Distracted Boyfriend" Meme

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Impress your three friends who kinda sorta use Twitter with your version of this famous meme.

2. The Hanson brothers

'90s tween heartthrobs are the only good kinds of heartthrobs. Credit: sam levi/WireImage/getty image

With three blonde wigs, some oversized stripes and killer falsettos, your thruple will be transformed into the Xennial boy band of your dreams.

3. Three little pigs

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Three little pigs, all in houses/cardboard boxes that are bigger than your apartment.

4. Laura, Peter, and Josh from To All the Boys I've Loved Before

We are all teenagers now Credit: Getty Images

Problematic teenage love triangles are the best love triangles.

5. The Brontë Sisters

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One of you is totally a Charlotte -- a confident, brilliant young woman with a soft spot for intellectuals. And your moody goth friend is soooo Emily.

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The least popular member of your group is Anne.

6. Annie, Brenda, and Elise from The First Wives Club

Via Giphy

Honor the greatest movie of the 20th century by dressing up as one of three greatest women of the 20th century: Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn, and Bette Midler.

7. BLT

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Everyone's gonna wanna be either bacon or tomato, but what romaine lacks in flavor it makes up for in ChloroPhitness.

8. The Clueless Ladies

Via Giphy

Apologies in advance to the person who has to play Stacey Dash.

9. The Three Kanyes

Be the best Kanye you can be Credit: getty images

VMAs Kanye, MAGA Kanye, and when "Kanye used to be good" Kanye.

10. Three's Company

Via Giphy

Somewhere out there there's a person who remembers this show.

11. Princess Leia, Luke Skywalker, and Han Solo

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For all the polyamorous Star Warsthruples out there.

12. Three Nipples

Via Giphy

It's not a mutation, it's a gift.

13. The Pod Save America guys

Via Giphy

We're calling this the Dockers challenge.

14. President Trump's three wives

Our pious president Credit: getty images

Ivana, Marla, and Melania: three women who've made a terrible choice with their lives.

15. Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper, and the dog from A Star is Born

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Anyone can be Lady Gaga or Bradley Cooper. Only a very special member of a very special thruple will ever be talented enough to play the dog.

Thruples, 2018 is your year.

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