【Friend Wife】

Sometimes your mind wants to leave but Friend Wifeyour scroller finger won't let you.

There are a gazillion reasons to close an app, exit out of your browser, or simply kill the power. Perhaps you matched with a jerk on a dating app, maybe the sun has set while you watched one too many YouTube videos of random items being squished by large pistons.

At a point, there's little left to do but vacate the feeds and interact with the physical realm for a bit. I know, I know. Sounds scary.

If you've been clicking around for so long that your eyes are dry and watery at the same time, here are some inspiring reasons to slow your scroll.

1. When the stans get political, it's time to go.

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2. Let's wait until the third date to discuss which House we're in, shall we?

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3. Not to quote American Beauty, but "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it..."

(Granted, they we're talking about a plastic bag and I'm talking about Twitter)

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4. Too much human interaction.

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5. Sometimes even a little change of scenery is all you need!

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6. Ah, yes. The sweet state of delusion.

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7. Maybe just don't Tweet.

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8. "It's been 84 years."

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9. This opening Tinder line deserves it's own t-shirt. And a restraining order.

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10. Just pretend you're online.

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11. A doomed cycle.

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12. Aaaaand it's time to get off the 'Tube.

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13. Even the universe is urging you to leave Twitter for a sec.

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Now, go! Be free! Enjoy the...sun? Is that what it's called? That big thingthat emits light? No, not an iPad, the thing in the sky. Anyway, let's reconvene in 17 seconds when you open this browser again. GO TEAM!

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